9pm Any Night of the Week...My house

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Can I have a story? Please…. Just two. If you read me Cat in the Hat then you can read Llama Llama Red Pajama.” 

“Olivia go to sleep. Daddy already read you a story. PJ is already asleep; you should be sleeping.”

“But Mommy I need a story from you. I can’t sleep without a story.”

I know a story isn’t the end of this song and dance but I follow protocol. I read both stories.

“Mommy can Mickey Mouse sleep with me?”

“Yes, Olivia.  It is time to go to bed now.”

I grab mickey off the floor.

“Mommy I need my cup.”

I hand her the empty spill proof cup.

“Mommy Mickey needs his own cover.”

“No he doesn’t, you have plenty to share young lady. Go to sleep.”

I tuck Mickey in.

She takes Mickey and lays on him like a pillow. “He’ll be warmer that way”

I turn off the lights and leave the door cracked open. I sit on the couch and turn on the TV.

“MOMMY…. I HAVE TO GO POTTY!” The living room is less than 10 feet from her open bedroom door she is creaming at the top of her lungs because all children instinctively know how to irritate their parents.

I pause the TV.

We go through the bathroom routine and make it back to bed ten minutes later.

I sit down. Count to 10. Nothing…. all is quiet. I press play.

“Mommy…. Can I come lay with you?”

 Pause.

“No!”

I growl under my breath.

I go in her room and squeeze into her bed.

My logic is that I will get up when she falls asleep and not have to carry her back to her bed risking stepping on a noise making toy almost killing myself and waking her up in the process.

Three hours later I wake up and go get in my own bed.

An hour later I try to roll over and there are little feet pressed into my side.

I’m too tired to move her. I toss and turn all night because even though she is beyond the size of me rolling over and accidentally smothering her in my sleep I am ever conscious of her being there.

Meanwhile her dad has fallen asleep on the couch watching TV and he’s snoring peacefully.

As soon as I settle into a good comfortable sleep. I’m jilted awake by Miley Cyrus screaming, “Wrecking all.” Why my phones alarm clock starts in the middle of the dated ring tone on the highest volume?  I have no clue. It is now 5am and my day has started.

This is my life with Olivia, Payne and Ray.

Happy Tuesday

This morning I called in... or did I call off??? Either way I am not going to work. Why?  I am not going to work because I really don't want to.  It's not as simple as that but then again it is. Lets go back to last night.

My car began to overheat on my way home from a 10 hour day of work immediately followed by 2 hours of  errands for my Mom. Once I made it home it was too late to call my mechanic and the children needed to prepare for bed.  PJ is a saint and always goes to bed on time with no trouble.  Livy is my arch nemesis.  Not only does she refuse to go to sleep, but she has a list of demands.  She needs one more story,  a cup of milk,  to have her night light turned off, her favorite doll must be found, the blanket  must be removed from her bed and finally she needs one more trip to the potty.

I did not mean to leave my wonderful  fiancé out.  He was being a man and trying to see what was wrong with my car.  Sadly he was completely in the dark, not only does he know almost nothing about cars but it was 9:00pm and he was trying to use his phone as a flashlight :(

I made it to sleep just after midnight and I was awakened by Ray's 4:30 am work alarm even though he has been off work for the past 10 days and would not be going back for another week.  By the time my alarm went off at 5:30 am, I slept through it. At 6:40 am I took my infamous 2 minute shower, woke the PJ and checked my worklist for work. I had no cases due.  I mentally went through what my day would look like.

Drop off PJ at school.
Call my boss and tell her I would be taking my car to the shop and coming in late.
Take my care to the shop.
Get a ride to work.
Work.
Play phone tag with my mechanic, during work, about what was wrong with my car and how much it would cost versus what I can afford at this time.
Get a ride home from work and maybe to pick up my car.
If my car is not ready, get a ride to Olivia's dance class.
Sit through Olivia's dance class.
Come home
make dinner
put the kids to bed
spend time with Ray.

I realized I was exhausted and I did not want to juggle the stress of fixing a personal issue, that needed to be fixed while dealing with whatever stresses the job would bring. Therefore I opted out of work.  Thank God for CTO time.

"It is not what you say but how you say it."

One day I'm at work when I see the message light on my phone blinking. As I go through the process of retrieving this missed information, I learn that I had miss a call from the HR Director.
"Hey... You didn't punch yesterday so I assume you called in." I had just submitted my time edit form because I had forgotten my badge on the day in question. I called the Director back immediately.
"I just submitted my form today it's in your mailbox."
She replied, "that's not my problem, you got a letter in your check last month stating I would be submitting this info early due to the holiday and you should have turned it in yesterday."

This is where my younger self would have called her all kinds of names and told her what to do with herself, but I've grown.
I sat quietly on the line until she said "hello are you there?"
I quietly replied "um hum, yes I'm here."
Then more silence.
Then she says "I'll see what I can do."
I replied in an even quieter voice, "thank you and have a good evening."

When my check came it was correct. She may have said my check wasn't her problem but her actions indicated she believed I would have been a big problem. It must have been the quiet voice I used, its very polite but holds just a touch of tempered fury beneath the surface.  As a no-nonsense mom, I have perfected that tone.

I have not had anymore issues with my HR Director or my checks since.

What a Difference Several Years Make

So it has been quite some time since I logged on or posted any thoughts. My life has changed quite a bit since 2010. Let's see I'm now the mother of two great kids. My son PJ is 7 and my daughter Livy is 10 months old. I'm still with that wonderful man mentioned in my last post. My life is good. I work full time in customer service and the job has me wondering about people daily. I am changing the direction of this blog, hopefully for the better. I'm looking forward to writing soon and more frequently and definately looking forward to feedback. Until next time...

Shaking My Head

For as long as I can remember I have never had many words when witnessing stupidity in action, I've simply shook my head. I am convinced that people are living life in such a rush that they do not even stop to think. (Yes, as I type this I know I sound like my Grandmother.) I am the type of person that when something doesn't make sense or isn't adding up I stop and think about what would make it more plausible. I am aware that everyone is not capable of this and I know that common sense is anything but common. Still it is in my nature to not want to leave people thinking that I am a idiot that doesn't think before I speak or act.

People are not being held accountable for not maintaining a internal system of checks and balances that keep them on there "Ps and Qs." It is really quite frustrating to think that multiple times a day I am left so out done by another's train of thought or actions that all I can do is SMH.

Honestly I enjoyed the days when I could respond to another person's thoughts with my own thoughts and the dialogue played out like an invigorating tennis match. Lately I feel as if I'm a feather weight armature in the ring with a heavy weight champion and I'm having the speech knock out of me. I miss being inspired to respond. Lately my interactions with others is too often leaving me so deflated that I am only willing to give a passive gesture and move on. People who don't think are running a muck and they are simply draining me.

Connections

Finding some one to be attracted to is not hard if you're looking. Its not too hard if you can just see for that matter. If you look around you long enough at least two or three times any given day, men and women see people who turn their heads. Catch their attention. Turn them on. The problem is not lack of physically appealing people in the world. The issue is how do you stay attracted to a person and build that attraction into something more? How do you make a lasting connection? With all the eHarmony and Match.com businesses booming, people are not just looking for flings for life. Some people are but this article is not about them. People for the most part want to connect on a deeper level with some one and share a life together. Out side of a internet site that will show you your possible soul mate along with a “why this person is perfect for you” profile, how are people supposed to know if the alluring person across the room is right for them? The answer is old-fashioned patience and learning. People have got to want to talk to each other. Learn if they have things in common. Do some commonly liked activities together and get to know each other. In today's fast paced world, it seems people are running out of patience. It is no longer uncommon to sleep with a person on the first date. If you match well in bed then why ruin a good thing? Why learn anything more beyond the bedroom experience? If people would take a step back and enjoy the physical attraction with out rushing it to the bedroom, maybe the bedroom experience would last longer. There is nothing worst than sleeping with some one for a while, the sex being spectacular of course, and then finding out once it is too late (i.e. you have a child with them) you have nothing in common. Even worst you find out you do not even like each other. As children, we all have our fantasies about what it will be like to be an adult. As teenagers, with our hormones raging, it is impossible not to be overwhelmed with curiosity about sex. They never taught in health class that a person could spend years sleeping with multiple people, forming life long connections through children or shared disease and never experience a real connection. How little do we value our selves in this society that the person we lay down with does not matter as long as they turn us on? Finding a good person and building a strong relationship is not easy. If people just slow down a little, most times the wait is worth it.

For the last few moths my life has been going through roller coaster like changes:
1. I had to quit my job.
2. My Aunt died.
3. My best friend got married.
4. My birth mother had a stroke.
5. The man in my life turned perfect.
6. My Mom got a social life.
7. I learned to be happy with just being at home with my son.

At 28 years old I have no idea what I want to do. However I am looking forward to what will happen next.